I've been making some gifts for Christmas recently, and it's been a bit time consuming. The gifts are for my wife and kids, and because I don't want them to see what they're getting yet I don't want to embed the pictures directly on this site, so instead I'll put a link to my Picasa woodworking projects album.
Today I finished building a coat rack cubby thingy. Here's a picture:
Every experience is a learning experience. With this I learned that I'm tired of using construction lumber for my projects. I also learned how to hand cut stopped dados. That last one makes me feel pretty proud, actually. I finally feel like I have better than novice woodworking skills. The joinery I lay out is very precise. Everything lines up much better when I do a dry assembly now compared to even a few months ago. I enjoy this hobby.
So, you learn anything today?
Get yourself these things:
Three or four carrots
2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter. BUTTER.
1/4 cup brown sugar
some crushed red pepper
1 cup of water
Salt
Cut up the carrots. Cut them on the bias. Seriously. CUT THEM ON THE FREAKIN' BIAS! I mean, sure, it looks sexy, and that's a bonus, but it also increases the surface area so they cook faster, and it also allows more glaze to cover the carrot pieces. Don't know what it means to cut on the bias? Let me Google that for you.
Over medium heat (not the sun), melt the butter in a medium sized sauce pan. This is a sauce pan that's not too big or not too small. Do not use Barbie's saucepan, it's too small and she's a bitch. Do not use the dish from satellite BSS-702, because I need that for my high-def.
When the butter is melted, dump the sugar in there. Mix it around a bit until all the butter and the sugar are incorporated. Once incorporated, they will enjoy protection from personal assets, ability to raise money through stocks, and the ability to establish credit independently of the owners'.
Now add the carrots, the water, and a pinch of salt. Raise the heat to high. Boil that sucker. Demand to know the access codes to the secret Carrot Lair on Root Face Island. It will talk. It will talk.
Once things are a-boiling, cut the heat to low. Yeah, I know, it seems like I'm jerkin' ya around with the heat, but trust me. Also, throw a lid on the saucepan, to muffle the screams of the carrots as they slowly and painfully succumb to the water. Do this for five minutes or until the carrots are silent and tender.
After five minutes, remove the lid, and crank the heat back up to high. Add a dash or two of the pepper. Feel free to shout the onomatopoetic phrase of your choice while doing this. I prefer "FREEP!" but that's just me.
Cook the liquid out of the dish. You want things to be all nice and thick in there. Toss it around a few times. I recommend tossing instead of stirring, because stirring requires some sort of instrument, and the glaze will get on that instead of on the carrots, then you'll need to wash it off, and that glaze is stickier than a ham faucet, and you'll get frustrated trying to clean it off, and meanwhile your dish will cross the point of no return and everything will burn and you'll have to throw it out, but you'll decide instead that you'll cover it up with some tarragon or parsley, but people will know your dirty deed.
Once everything is nice and glazed, throw it in a serving dish and serve. If you'd like you can throw some parsley on top. If you like even more, you can omit the sugar and water and use a 12oz. can of quality ginger ale. And I mean quality.
Enjoy, my Rontourage.