Ron's Brain

Just to let everyone know I have been solicited by someone trying to pull the Nigerian Money Scam. I will do my best to make humorous correspondance with this person and I will post all messages to and fro on this thread.

I've received several of these. I was going to make a "Which Nigerian E-mail Scammer Are You" type of quiz, but quickly lost interest because I couldn't think of any questions.

You will be surprise to receive this letter since you don't know
me personally, friends are found and friends are made,but so treat
this request as a call from somebody in dire need of your kind
assistance,but for the purpose of introduction. i am Daniel Danjuma the
 eldest son of Dr.SAM DANJUMA, who was recently murdered with other whites
in the land dispute violence in Zimbabwe . in my keen interest
to invest in your country, I got your contact through the South
African Information Exchange (S.A.I.E)here in Johannesburg, South
Africa and decided to write for an assistance.
My late father was among the few black-Zimbabwean rich farmers
murdered in cold blood by the KILLER-SQUAD of the ruling party Zimbabwean
government of President Robert Mugabe on the 12th of March 2001,for
his alleged support and sympathy for the opposition party controlled
by the whites and this crisis and cold blood-murdered reports, we
communicates to the whole world through BBC,CNN,and even the UNITED
NATIONS general assembly meeting for heads of government of member
nations.
Bfore his death, he had taken me to Johannesburg to deposit the
sum of US$25.MILLION with a security and finace company for
safe-keeping as if he foresaw the looming danger that could erupt
from the farm struggle in Zimbabwe.
This money was deposited in a box as a consignment labelled''FAMILY
TRASURE'' with the security company.
This frame of mind was inform as not to allow the company management
have the knowledge of the real content of the box for obvious security
reasons. This money was earmarked for the purchase of machineries
and agro-chemicals for the farmes and the establishment of new farms
settlements in Lesotho and Swaziland. This land problem arose when
president robert mugabe introduced a new land acts which wholly
affected the rich white farmers and some objective blacks vehemently
condemned the modus operandi adopted by the government.
This resulted to forceful ejection of whites from their lands, rampant
killings, arson and mob actions by the war veterans and some political
thugs. precisely, more than one hundred and seven(107)people have
been killed and many others maimed for life in the past, and up
till this AUG 2003, BBC and CNN have reported of more killings in
the farm land violence.
Heads of government from the western world, especially Britain and
the United States of America have voiced their condemnation over
mugabe's obnoxious land acts. Subsequently the Southern African
development community(S.A.D.I)has continuously supported mugabe's
new land reform Acts. It is against this backgroud that I and my
family who are currently staying in South Africa have decided to
transfer this money out of South Africa into a trusted foreign
account.
As the eldest son of my late father, I am saddled with the
responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could be
transfered to, without the knowledge of Zimbabwean government who have tactically frozen my family's wealth. Secondly, my mother is presently sick
of HEART DISEASE and the need to fly out for a medical operation
on her is very important, but how can we fly with out this fund.
Presently, we are residing temporarily in Johannesburg pending the
outcome of an appeal filed on our behalf by our attorney for the
department of Home Afairs to grant us asylum tatus. At the moment
we in dilemma to the fiscal laws inhibiting South African Refugees
on monetary policy. We request that this proposal should be granted
so that we can be able to transfer this money to your nominated
account outside South Africa for investment purpose.
As a business man whom I wish to entrust my future and that of my
family in his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is
100% risk free as far as you keep it secret, the modalities to this
transfer is ready with the help of our family lawyer, a member of
a Bank,Board,a South African, who by his help we have finished all
the arrangement, the way this money should be transfered easily.
But the problem we are facing is how to get an honesty and responsible
person that can keep this money safe and stand as the beneficuiary.

That is why this proposal comes to you. Please i will like to know what % you
will take for helping me and my family. If you sincerely assist us with the whole of your heart to transfer this fund into your nominated bank account,please send e-mail to me as quickly as possible, give me your phone number and fax for more confidentialities. Definitely I have not seen you
for the first time, for but I want to tell you that this transaction
requires confidentiality and privacy.
I am looking forward with a view to hearing from you soonest.

Best Regards,
Daniel.
Freeserve AnyTime - HALF PRICE for the first 3 months - Save £7.50 a month

My responses will be in bold

This sounds very interesting, but if it is possible, instead of your attorney calling me, I would prefer if he called Ed, my attorney. Well, Ed is not really my attorney, but he is very smart and is my council in all things I do not understand. For example, I did not understand the Holy Trinity, how could three beings be of the same substance? His reply was quick and insightful: water exists in three forms but is the same substance. That was ingenius! So God at 100 degrees celcius is vapor, God from 1 degree to 99 degrees celcius is liquid, and finally, God at 0 degrees celcius is an abominable snow man. With his help, I understand all complicated things. So you see the necessity in involving him in this transaction. Thank you for your understanding.

Samuel Rienstra,(Please do sent your reply to my personal mail box dandanjuma2004@fsmail.net)

Nice to hear from you,and thanks for taking time out to reply my mail.Frist please i will like to tell you for the safety of me and my family i will like you to keep the transaction just betwwen the three of us, you me and my Attourney, were you feel is not clear to you,you can ask him any question and he will explain all to you becasue i will like us to keep this transaction to ourself, becasue i have come across alot of people all they want is how to run away with my family funds.
I will like you to send me your phone numbers so that Mr.Ben my family lawyer can reach you and also give you more details about this transaction.
Thanks so much for all and also for your understanding.
Hope to hear back from you soon.
Please do sent your reply to my personal mail box dandanjuma2004@fsmail.net
Best Regards.
Daniel.

I am sorry, but I must insist having my own council. But since Ed is my legal/financial advisor and liquid plummer, I can have him acting as my plummer and he will not be entitled to any of the funds officially. His cut will come out of my cut, which brings up another concern: the Patriot Act. I do not know if you have heard, but the United States is under a high level of terror alert. The government has passed a law called The Patroit Act and one article of this act makes it illegal for American citizens to keep secrets with foreign people (or as phrased in the Act, sub Americans). All financial transactions with foriegn dignitaries must be notarized by three credible witnesses. If this procedure is not followed, not only could I be charged with embezzlement, but also treason against the United States government, which is punishable by death. But since Ed acts as my legal/financial advisor and liquid plummer (3 positions) he alone can witness for all three catagories. And finally, I must ask for a larger amount of money since the increased threat to my safety with these increased terror alerts. I hope my proposal will be acceptable because this may be the only way to get the money to my account without the United States charging me with treason.

Samuel Rienstra,

How are you doing and how was your weekend? Got your last mail i did not understand what you were saying. Now you just told me you want your lawyer to put you thorugh in the transaction he dons't know about how? this was why i want you to give me a number i can reach you so that my lawyer can give you more details about the transaction, well since you want to ask your lawyer about it go on and let me know what ever comes up.

Have a nice day and hope to hear fromyou soon.

Best Regards.

Daniel.

Hello,
Brightest and most wonderful of days to you, my soon to make me rich friend. Talking to you is like lighting 1,000 candles of happiness. Now, as far as the financial transaction goes, Ed has told me everything looks legitimate and this transaction is ready to complete. I do not need your lawyer to call me, for now I understand all the complicated specs that comes with a secret transaction such as this one we are discussing to its fullest potential. Are you comming to the USA soon?

Samuel