Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours
You: hmmm. throw in a cabbage and you have a deal.
You: can I dream about the cabbage as well?
Stranger: only if you dream of me wearing a sexy cabbage cod piece
You: ok. the cabbage codpiece's name is Carl. You're wearing Carl the cabbage codpiece.
You: Don't miss "Carl the Cabbage Codpiece" every day on Sprout.
Stranger: what will be your outfit?
You: I have a cauliflower thong.
You: cauliflower is a type of cabbage, you know.
Stranger: omg, i just got real hungry
You: ranch dressing flows from my nipples.
You: and not that low fat shit either.
Stranger: better grab a few buffalo wings then to help clean up the mess
You: get me a beer while you're at it.
Stranger: those krauts can really make a beer
You: so tell me. what is it about a cauliflower thong that makes you hungry?
Stranger: you know tootsie pops?
Stranger: i was thinking how many bites it would take to get to the center of the cauliflower undiew
You: cauliflower doesn't have much tensile strength, so I imagine it would take very few.
Stranger: exactly why i was hungry
You: can we get back to talking about cabbage?
You: awesome. a man loves his cabbage you know.
You: what? confused cabbage for lettuce?
Stranger: are you eluding to the fact that you wear a man thong?
You: i thought this was only in a dream.
You: and it's a man cauliflower thong, thank you.
Stranger: did you add color?
You: and don't forget about the ranch.
Stranger: great wetern porn title, btw
You: damn we have to market that shit.
Stranger: can we get back to talking about nipples?
Stranger: how do you feel about cole slaw
You: alluring AND good for the environment.
You: is cole slaw cabbage or lettuce?
You: I suppose if you add enough mayo it won't matter.
Stranger: i like a dry cole slaw
You: too much dressing ruins it.
Stranger: cabbage or cribbage?
You: dude, what if you had a cribbage board made of cabbage?
Stranger: dammmmmmmmmnnnn
Stranger: now your talking
Stranger: are you writing this shit down?
You: that's two things that will make us millionairse so far.
You: ok, ok, 1) nipple ranch, 2) cabbage cribbage.
You: Actually, that sounds like an STD.
Stranger: a delicious std
You: "How do I get rid of it doctor?" "Ranch."
Stranger: ranch, nipple ranch
Stranger: how many boyfriends do you have, like 6?
Stranger: i figured a classy broad like you
You: I have a large cabbage garden. It takes many strapping men to tend to it.
Stranger: would have a stable of men
Stranger: i grew too much cabbage this summer
You: Give it away to the homeless.
You: They can trade it for booze.
Stranger: the cycle is perpetual. cabbage for beer--cabbage makes beer--repeat
Your conversational partner has disconnected.