Orange peelers are for the weak. To be intimidated by an orange is the strongest form of weakness known to man. I should know. During my black ops missions in New Zealand for the U.S. secret police I was partnered with a man that used orange peelers constantly. He instisted that the peeler was the greatest invention and that using such a device was the true path to salvation. I knew better.
During a stint that focused on busting a grocery store that was a front for a nuclear weapons black market facility, my partner decided the best strategy would be to come in from both the front and the back, as we have done many times in many other grocery stores that were really many other nuclear weapon black market facilities. However, before the mission, I secretly took his orange peeler from his pocket and discarded the device of pure evil. As he came in through the front, he reached for his peeler, but was surprised to discover its misplacement. I came in the back and made my way up front, laughing furiously when I saw him there, on the verge of tears. I knew he knew I took it. The enemy had surrounded him though, disguised as shelves of candy bars, so I did the only thing I could that would save the mission: I shot him. Sure, my boss was upset, but he was a weak-minded orange peel worshipper as well.
I hope that this will serve as a warning to all you young punks out there that think orange peelers are cool, like monkey skull bongs, but they aren't, like My Little Pony bongs. What's that? You're wondering what happened to the grocery store? Well, after freeing my partner from the terrible grips of the enemy, I persuaded the clerk to give up and was hailed King of the Tasmanian Devils and they held a parade in my honor, during which I was allowed to shoot anyone I desired. That was a great day for your Uncle Frank.