My office is in a large building, and my company just rents out a small bit of the building. Because the place is large, there is only one restroom on each floor that everyone shares. The other day I went into the restroom at my office to take a dump. Yes, that information is somewhat necessary for the story. In the restroom are two stalls: one that was regular sized and one that was larger, making it wheelchair accessible. Well, the normal one was "engaged" and so I had to go into the other one, which reminided me of a hangar. For toilets. Flying toilets.
I'm getting off the subject. As soon as I sat down, the guy in the regular stall gets up, flushes, and leaves. Here I am, sitting in the Grand Canyon of stalls, thinking about the situation. What if someone in a wheelchair happened to come in? Would I explain to him the series of events that led my ass to this very seat? Would I ignore him and let the thing go? Would I move? As I thought about this, I decided that the situation is unlikely, because life is not like Seinfeld. If it were, though, here's how it would go:
Scene: Bathroom stall. There are two stalls, one normal sized and one handicap accessible. The normal one is occupied.
Enter George. He walks in, noticing his lack of options. He enters the other stall. As soon as he does, the man in the first stall leaves.
Enter a man in a wheelchair. He is annoyed that someone is in the stall.
Wheelchair man: You gonna be long?
George: Can't you use the other stall?
WM: I'm in a wheelchair. I can't use the other stall.
George: Oh, sorry about that. I couldn't see you out there.
WM: That's alright. Could you move to the other stall, though?
George: Excuse me?
WM: Just move over to the other stall real quick.
George: (Nervous laughter) I, uh, I, uh, don't think so.
WM: (Annoyed) Look, pal. I really need to go, here, so just hop up, wiggle over to the other stall, and let me in.
George: No, no, no, no, no. I'm staying right here.
WM: Okay, you asked for it.
Wheelchair man leaves, returning a little later with a security guard.
Guard: Is there a problem here?
George: No, no problem.
Guard: This gentelman says that you are giving him a problem.
George: (Nervous laughter) I don't think I'm the one giving people problems.
Guard: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave this facility.
George: I'm a little busy right now...
Guard: Okay sir. If you don't come out in ten seconds, I'm going to come in and get you.
George: I'd like to see that!
Bass guitar: Be-gum be-bow gum-bee-bee gum-bow bow-bee gum-pow!
Next scene: Jerry and George are sitting in the restaurant, having coffee or eating pie or whatever the hell it is those morons do.
Jerry: And he broke down the door and threw you out?
George: (Nods) And he told me if he ever saw me in there again, he'd call the police! I work in that building! Am I supposed to sneak around just to use the bathroom?
Jerry: Maybe you should have moved.
George: Would you have moved?
Jerry: I would have moved.
George: You would have moved?
Jerry: Yes, I would have.
George: No you wouldn't have.
Jerry: Yes I would!
Just then, a crazed madman with dynamite strapped to his body runs into the restaurant, rants about the quality of television, and then blows everyone up. The episode ends with George's funeral, and the wheelchair guy is there, laughing maniacally. The end.
So, as you can see, I am very bored.