Several reels of kung-fu footage was recently discovered in an abandoned building in Germany. The footage, when viewed, reveald not Bruce Lee, but Albert Einstein. This confirms rumors that Einstein was not only the greatest theoretical physicist of all time, but also a wonderful martial arts expert.
The most astonishing film, Fists of Time Dilation, consits of a boy whose family was assassinated when he was a small child. He swore revenge on all involved, but little did he know that the Tiger Claw Star Gang was behind the murders. The stunts and fighting sequences are amazing, and Einstein kicks some serious butt!
Perhaps the most memorable scene is near the end, when Einstein has an amazing line: "For you, my foe, I have two postulates. First, the speed of light is constant regardless of the velocity of the source or of the observer, and second, I will defeat you and restore honor to my family which you have murdered!" He then proceeds to attack Wu-Shi Jinn Scroedinger with a technique that has not been seen for hundreds of years. The ending is very moving, with Einstein praying for the restoration of his father's honor.
The movie is expected out on video within the next two years, and a special DVD set with documentaries and deleted scenes is in the works.